Catching up ...

Wow - I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, but then it always is crazy. We've had a lot of weekend trips lately, which makes things even crazier because there's more to do during the week.
It's been a good couple of weeks. We celebrated our first anniversary as husband and wife. We had a great time - we went back to Asheville, NC where we got married. It was nice to relive the moment and remember what's important in life.
We've had our battles the last couple of weeks too. My husband is starting to work from the house more. It's nice because he's home a little more during the week. The downside is he's turned our living room into his office and yours truly flipped her lid a few days ago when I couldn't even find a place to sit on the couch for all the paperwork! I ranted for 2 hours (off and on!). So the next day I came home to find a rather large new desk in our 3rd floor guestroom. I'll tell you a secret ... I HATE the desk. It doesn't go with the room and it's way to big. But - you pick your battles. I don't have to sleep in the room and I'm just so darned glad to be getting him out of the living room when he's home.
My husband is on a week long hike this week. That's something I've had a hard time with in the past. It's hard to accept that they deserve their time to themselves, even after spending so much time at work. He called today and I can hear in his voice that this week is what he needed. He's out on the trail, no ones around to call him, no email, no demands. And he's facing a physical challenge. I've found that supporting him when he does these things does us both good. He's happier when he's home, and honestly, I am so busy this week with work, it's nice to have peace when I get home.
Anyway - I feel like I've just rambled on this time, but that's what's on my mind right now. I'll start writing again more regularly. It was nice to hear from a few of you who have posted recently!

When it rains it pours!

Literally. We had such a nice relaxing day yesterday but this morning we had a rude awakening. We woke up to find water in our basement. It's the first time it's been a problem, but it is raining like crazy here so I guess the ground is just overloaded. It was a very stressful day to say the least. Up until now my husband and I have lived in condos so we've always had someone to call when something is wrong - now we're on our own.
We quickly learned just how important a shopvac can be and we've vaccuumed about 100 gallons out of the basement so far. But the rest is all me - my husband had to fly out tonight for a very important meeting he couldn't miss. He made sure I had what I needed - but tonight in between commercials during Desperate Housewives - I'll be vacuuming water out of the basement - by myself. That is one of the things that SUCKS about being a weekend wife!

By the way, SMP inquired about my friend with twins. She's doing great. She just made it to 32 weeks. Full term is 36 for someone with twins so things are looking great. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I'll be sure to post pics of the twins when they're born.

Frustration

I have always prided myself on NOT bringing my work home. Not just paperwork, etc. - I've never brought my left over frustrations home with me. I've always been able to leave them at work and chalk it up to corporate's problem, not mine. That has been difficult to maintain in the past couple of weeks. I've been anxious about returning to work on a Monday. I am always irritated about something - and so many things have been going wrong that are out of my control that I'm always looking around for "what's next?".

I resent this change and hope it is temporary. My office is undergoing some technology changes so there's a reason for the issues. But I'm realizing any time a business, or a person for that matter, undergoes major changes, those changes also serve to spotlight what issues have always been there. And so often, we ride out the changes, and then go back to our normal routine, without addressing the problems that are there - new system or not. If a system is disorganized, they'll still be disorganized long after the changes. If a husband and wife fight about chores in the old house, they'll most certainly fight about them in the new one (unless of course a maid is included :) ).

Anyway, no real point to my rantings - they're just general observations about human nature. Hope everyone is having an easier week that I have! Feeling frustrated too? - if you've been able to answer your phone, print from your computer and protect very important documents from being erased by the IT guys - then you're having a better week than me!

What do you need?

Hey Ladies -
As I'm developing the concept of A Weekend Wives Club, I'm basing my direction on what I need as a "weekend wife." But I'm wondering, what do you need? Many of you have been so great to write and express relief at not being alone in your situation. But what do you need from this blog? Are there issues you'd specifically like to see addressed? In a perfect world, I'd have this set up like other chat sites with forums and profiles, etc. But I'm not a web guru, so this is what I have for now.

I'm asking because it seems like traffic has been slow on the blog recently, and I'm wondering if there's something you're missing. My goal for the blog was really to encourage many to write in their thoughts and feelings about things. I think that's the best way to advance our "cause" as weekend wives and create a network in which we help eachother. Reading my blogging on about my life only has to get old eventually, and I'd much rather include your thoughts and experiences.

Anyway - that's what's on my mind tonight - trying to get this thing moving and shaking - and I can't do it without you!

Killing Them With Kindness ...

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Instead of bitching and nagging my husband about things I wish he'd do, things he hasn't done, etc. I have been sweet as sugar lately. It wasn't easy in the beginning. The little things that were bugging me were trying to hard to bubble to the surface ... but I bit my tongue.

The end result - my husband is now doing the things I was nagging him to do. I'm getting more of what I want by not telling him what I want. Believe me, I've nagged enough he knows the things that bug me ... the things I need him to take care of. So I'm not even saying them anymore and he's finally doing them.

We've talked about it, and he said he was so tired and annoyed with me constantly telling him what he was doing wrong, it made him not want to do a thing. Now that I'm the new "easygoing wife" - he's been awesome (for the most part).

I have no idea if this would work with all men. Some of them might just be relieved the nagging stopped and keep ignoring the piles of laundry and garbage. But it's working for mine - and I'll take it! I'm hoping this isn't a "honeymoon" phase and is the real deal. I'm also hoping I can continue to bite my tongue. My problem is, I want things done when I think they should be done. When it's not on my timeline, I get irritated. I'm working hard not to be such a control freak.

God Bless You with Children

For the past week our two godchildren have been visiting us with their parents. I love them both dearly and they are both very well behaved ... BUT even with that, it is so challenging to have children in the house.

This is not a surprise to me. I knew children would be a lot of work, but the reality of someone needing you 24/7 really wears you out. I'm sure those of you with children are chuckling at this ... this is a fact you have long known. But for someone like me who is used to only taking care of herself during the week ... it's a shock to the system.

Even with this - I can't wait 'til we have children. But I realize this week how hard it will be with my husband on the road. There is no one around to give you a break. There's no one to say, "here - I'll give them a bath tonight."

My question is ... HOW DO YOU DO IT???? Please help us poor souls who are either approaching motherhood or who just found it! I can't imagine how you squeeze everything into a day and maintain your sanity!

Busy Busy Busy

My apologies for my extended absense. I have been absorbed in house work over the last couple of weeks. We're trying to get our house ready for company and it's been non-stop painting and other not so fun things.

But we're almost done, at least as done as I intend to be for a while. I'm tired of scraping paint from my nails and stepping over drop clothes.

Anyway - in other news. I've had some discouraging news lately about the publishing of my book. For those of you who don't know - I'm trying to publish a book called The Weekend Wives Club. My thought is that we all have very specific needs as weekend wives and many of the relationship books out there don't address them.

So for the last six months I've been submitting my proposal to publishers. Most of them really like the idea, but they don't believe there's a market for it. I'm really not sure where to go now. I believe in the idea and it's so encouraging to hear from you guys when you find this blog .... but I'm running out of options. I still have a few proposals out there for magazine articles, and the idea of self publishing isn't out of the question .... But I really thought this idea would take off quickly. Publishing this book has become a dream of mine and now it's frustrating to see it stalling a bit.

Anyway - maybe something will come through soon. Now that we're finishing this house work up, I'll have more time to work on things.

Hope you guys have a great weekend!

Painting the town, really the house, red ....

Last Friday I came home to my anti-housework husband to find him suggesting we paint the house this weekend. My gut reaction was to say no - I wasn't really in that mindset. But I have to take advantage of these rare moments when he wants to volunteer for something like this.

So off we went to Lowe's and Ikea - and several hundred dollars ready we were armed with paint, supplies, new door knobs, the works. It wasn't the most fun weekend, but it was nice to get things done. I hate spending our precious weekend time like that, but it must be done sometimes I know. I really appreciated his willingness to do it, although he did get grumpy about it mid-day Saturday. It was SOOO nice to be able to remind him it was HIS idea!

And for the record, we painted the walls white, tan and black. Yes - I know we're so adventurous when it comes to color. We couldn't agree on anything, so we went neutral for the time being.

What a Week!

Sorry for my absense ladies. Caught the flu Monday and tonight is the first night I felt like doing anything. I was NOT the optimal time to be sick. It's nuts at work and we have so much to do. But, I guess that's just life's way of teaching us to slow down.

It did have an interesting impact on the dynamics between me and my husband this week. Thankfully, he's been home all week and has been a wonderful nurse. He's also been great about picking up around the house and doing things I normally do. I learned that if I don't get things done, eventually he will. (just not always on my timeline) I also think he realized all of the things I normally take care of and he doesn't notice. I think my biggest problem is sometimes I don't have enough faith in my husband. He is so busy and I'm just sure he won't have time, or won't think of it, or won't notice, but he normally does, eventually.

*the pic is one we took in Breckinridge, CO a few weeks ago. It was so much fun.

Why is housework "my thing"?

I wanted to strangle my husband tonight. We had a very productive weekend of furniture shopping and house/car maintenance. It needed to be done and I was really excited how he dug in and got things done.

So then tonight in the middle of an argument over phone ettiquette (more on that in another blog) - he says "I spent all weekend doing YOUR stuff, and now I just want to work on my taxes, so give me my time."

WHEN DID HOUSE RESPONSIBILITIES BECOME ***my**** STUFF? That doesn't seem fair. He's said this stuff before and he knows it drives me crazy. But in his mind, that is how he categorizes it because I like to get things done when they need to be done not HAVE to be done. He waits until it's an emergency situation.

I'm trying to understand it from his shoes - I consider finance and investment thing HIS stuff. Maybe it's the same thing? I don't know.

I'm still fuming over it and if he wasn't surrounded by mounds of tax receipts and computer cords, I'd confront him some more (plus - Grammy red carpet is on!).

Letting My "Tongue" Go

So - after steaming a little since I got home Sunday night, I finally sat down with my husband tonight for a heart to heart. It just bothered me how much of a mess he makes and how he doesn't seem to notice when I pick up after him.

The problem comes down to this ... he responds to me in the way he would need to be responded to. I treat him the way I wish to be treated. He doesn't need all the thank you's or recognition that I need from him - so therefore he doesn't offer it to me. I NEED to know that he notices when I'm working extra hard to help out around the house. Right now, he has soooo much going on. His day job is crazy, and he's involved in some business endeavors outside of work that are very stressful. I get that he has little emotional or physical energy left after everything is done. It comes down to me just needing a thank you.

So - he says he's going to try harder. And he just needs me to be understanding of everything that's going on. Sounds fair to me. I just want to conquor these issues. The #1 thing we fight over is house responsibilities. If we can master this, it will simplify things a lot.

On a COMPLETELY unrelated note - I ran into Bon Jovi today. I work at a TV station and there is also a radio station in the office building. So I'm entering the elevator, and he walks out. I'm such a bonehead I didn't realize it was him until he'd walked into the studio. Once I got my wits about me, I alerted my friends in the newsroom and we got our picture taken with me. For the record, his arm WAS around my waste. ahhhhhh

Biting my Tongue

This weekend I flew down to Atlanta to see my friend who is pregnant with twins. She's doing okay by the way. They have been able to keep the contractions slowed down for the most part - and are hoping to hold things off for a couple of weeks. Thank you to those of you who sent your thoughts and prayers.

So my husband had a rare bachelor weekend in Philadelphia all to himself. I expected and wanted him to take time to have a little fun and do things he can't or doesn't do while I'm around. But I guess I also had a silent expectation that he might get a thing or two done around the house. My windshield wiper blades need to be changed, etc. Instead, I came home to find nothing like that done and a mess in the middle of the living room floor of a ski bag explosion that occured as he was looking for some gear. I haven't really said anything because I know it will be guaranteed to start a fight, but I've been steaming just a little since last night. It comes from the fact that when I have a weekend to myself in Philly I typically will get something done for us - even if it's as little as just grocery shopping. None of this crossed my husband's mind.

So I'm not sure if I will say anything or not. It won't lead to anything positive, I am sure. I've been thinking about it from his side - that this weekend alone at home is so rare, he wanted to take advantage of it. And then I think about the fact that it is MY CHOICE when I take care of things around the house on a free weekend. Bottom line, is I know what eeds to get done, I take care of it. He either waits for me to raise holy hell, OR things are so bad (fridge is entirely empty or wiper blades are non-existent) before he takes action.

Anyway - now I've gotten my self all fired up and he's due home from work in a few minutes. I better calm down or be prepared to brave the storm. Maybe I'll just tell him to read my blog!

Perspective

It's so easy to get caught up in day to day life and forget what we should be grateful for - and how quickly life can change.

This weekend I was supposed to out of town for a baby shower for a friend who has tried for so many years to have a baby. Finally she and her husband got pregnant with twins. Today, she's having complications and the doctors aren't sure they can keep the babies alive. We're still hoping things will work out, but it's been a sobering day for me. I can't imagine what she's feeling and how scared she must be. I don't know anyone else in this earth who are more fit to be perfect parents, and they've had the hardest time getting pregnant. Now, this.

Anyway, this really doesn't have anything to do with being a weekend wife, but I thought it was an important thing to share. I don't know about you guys, but there are times I bug my husband about the silliest things - like cleaning crumbs off of the counter or putting his shoes away. Then you stop and think - wow, what if we were facing what my friend and her husband are right now? Would the crumbs or shoes REALLY matter? When my husband comes home, I'm going to try to remember this, and remember that there are small things and big things ... and too often at least I, make the small things big.

I posted a picture of me and my girlfriends with this post.

My friend I'm so concerned about is the second from the left.

Refreshing Romance

I enjoyed reading the few posts about "what bugs you", but come on ladies! I know we have a few more pet peeves than that! I hope you will continue to add what bugs you to the blog. It's nice to know we all have our little issues with our traveling men.

My husband and I just got back from a weekend away. It was so nice to get out of town and away from any responsibilities. Even though we try to save our weekends for fun, it makes a different when you couldn't do anything productive, even if you wanted to. (out of sight, out of mind)

How often do you and your husband take time for a little vacation? I think it's hard some times to take time away, when they're away so much during the week. When my husband is home on the weekends, I hunger for normalcy and often the last thing on my mind is a weekend out of town. I like seeing him AT HOME, sitting on th couch, doing mundane things like channel surfing together. But I realized again this weekend how important it is to travel together.

What Bugs You?

Here's a wild card post .... write about anything that drives you crazy about your traveling husband. Does he leave his towels on the floor like he's at the Hilton? Does he never want to go out and eat on the weekends because he's having all of these fabulous meals on the company dime during the week? No complaint is too big or small.

I'm going on a ski weekend with my husband today so I'll be away for a few days from the internet, but I'm looking forward to checking in when I get back!

Time for My Stuff

I don't know about you guys, but when my husband is home, I have a horrible time getting things done I need to get done. Between trying to spend time with him, and help him with a few things, there's little time left for things I need to do. I guess just need to make time, but in my mind, I think - "well, I can do that after he leaves."

The end result is that on the nights he's gone, I'm squeezing in a lot of little things in I need to do. My personality is I have to get the "need to" things done before I do the "want to" things. By the time I'm done all of my obligations, I rarely have time left. I know I need to work on this. My husband is incredibly good at goofing off even when there's stuff left to do. And to his credit, things are always done eventually, when they absolutely have to be. Not sure if this is a gender things, or personality trait.

Anyway - does anyone have the same problem?

*the picture is one we took a couple years ago in Warsaw, Poland.

Back to Reality

My husband is back in town for this week after being gone all last week. It's always hard for us to balance the things I've been waiting on him to do, with what he needs to do to catch up from being gone. Sometimes it feels like a tug of war. I know he's got to get caught up, but I've been waiting to do things (like tonight it's sealing off some windows in our drafty old house (just bought an 1830's row house)). Right now, he's bogged down at work so I've been running around taking care of it which is what I said I wouldn't do. He'd promised to help, BUT, I can tell he's stressed and I just keep telling myself it's not as if he's going to see a movie. He said he'll help when he gets home, but I don't want to do it at 10 at night.

Aside from the "honey-do" list - I just want to spend time with him, catching up on our favorite shows, and relaxing. Thankfully, this weekend we have a long ski weekend planned in Colorado so we'll have some QT there.

How do you guys balance what your needs are when your husband gets home with what he needs to take care of?

Have a great weekend!

I hope you're getting to enjoy some time with your husbands. Mine is still out of town - so it's a girls weekend for me! Talk to you guys on Monday!

Unexpected Irritation

I don't know what got into me this morning, but for some reason I got irritated at my husband. He wasn't even here and last night when we talked all was fine. But something switched when I went to work, and his crazy schedule the last week got under my skin. We've hardly talked because he's been so busy and I've tried so hard to be cool about it and understand that this really is a crucial time. But this morning, I left my "coolness" at home and sent him a "nasty-gram' email about something he hadn't done that I'd asked him to do. He immediately took care of it, and then I felt a little silly. But should I have felt silly? Fourteen days (I counted) isn't unreasonable to expect something to be done.

Share your thoughts - The Honey Do List

Here's a topic ... how do you gals handle the "honey do" list? In a traditional marriage, men are home all week, they can help out around the house, they can change a light bulb or call a repairman. For us weekend wives, things are a little different. If our husbands try to squeeze all of these responsibilities into 72 hours on the weekend, we all miss out on quality time.

I try to do everything I possibly can during the week so the weekends can be mostly fun. Of course, I do this with my own selfish motivations, but in the beginning I REALLY resented my husband. Here I was getting home from work at 5:30 and cleaning, fixing, whatever - and he was off in some Hilton eating at Mortons.

Then one night during a fight about this very topic, my husband said, "I feel like you're complaining about mowing the yard when I'm out digging a ditch." Things changed a lot after that night for us.Their life might seem glamorous on the road, but bottom line (at least for my husband who is a consultant) they're working 16 hour days. And the Hilton is nice, unless you've been there for 8 months and at that point the novelty has worn off. I work 8 hours a day. If I have to put in 2 or even 3 hours a night around the house, I still have the better end of the deal. At least I'm at home. I guess, for me, it came down to finally accepting his job as my own as well.

What do you think? How do you deal with household chores? Do you have a hard time accepting the responsibility? Even though I'm more at peace with things, I still have a hard time occasionally.

Have a good night ladies!

Girl Time!

Tonight I stepped out of my normal weekday routine and hosted a girls night at my house. I've known all of these girls for a while, either through my husband or work and we maintain a phone and email friendship, but rarely do we make time to just hang out during the week. You know how it is, we get bogged down by responsibility and trying to hold the household together while our husbands are away.
It was awesome. We laughed and giggled like it was a slumber party for a bunch of 30 somethings. It was a great release, but also great to share stories of what life is like when our husbands are away. Two of the other women are also weekend wives, and it was great to share with them. I know them through firm events and this is the first time we've done things without our husbands.
Isn't it funny how we meet other weekend wives often through our husband's work events, but rarely do we reach out to eachother. This blog is a great start, but I encourage everyone to step out of their comfort zone and reach out to other weekend wives they know nearby.
Many of you have been so good to write in and share that you feel lonely because you're in a new city with no family and few of your close friends. It's hard. I remember when I first moved to Philly I basically volunteered to work any hours during the week because it made them time go faster and before I knew it Thursday night was here and USAir was finally bringing my husband home for the weekend. It's taken me about two years to establish a social group. So many of my friends have husbands who are home during the week, and many of them wouldn't dare make regular plans that didn't include their men. It's almost like I was driven to make friends with other single women, which is fun, but they don't have exactly the same interests all the time as I do.
So I hope tonight was the start of a regular tradition. It was a boost for my week and my husband was blown away tonight when he called at 10pm and I couldn't talk because I still had company. :)

How Do We Handle Children?

The subject of adding children to our demands as weekend wives is a tough one. Both Yelnad and Amyd wrote in to ask if anyone else has children. Kim shared her experience about spending a large part of her last trimester alone. I think it would be helpful if those of you with children could offer advice to the rest of us.

My husband and I don't have children yet, but we plan to start trying soon. I am nervous about it. When we've discussed it, the plan now is to hire a nanny so I can continue working. I love my job (most days) and worked hard to get where I am. A regular day care or baby sitter won't work because there are nights I have to stay late. I told my husband early on in our relationship that if he continued to keep his crazy travel schedule after we had kids, then part of his salary would have to cover child care.

Who knows how my perspective will change once we have a child. I'll be honest, a majority of the women I've interviewed for my book either adapted or quit their careers when they had children. They tell me it's just impossible to do it any other way. That scares me a little. I don't feel ready to give up my job.

Anyway - those are my feelings about it. How do you guys feel? Do you weekend wife mommies have any advice?

Wow! Weekend Wives Unite!

Ladies - I am overwhelmed and so grateful for all of you taking the time to write in. I've been seeing the comments flood my "inbox" all day, but my "day job" was keeping me from responding.

I been longing for other women to talk to about this for a long time, so I'm thrilled that this is taking off.

First of all - thank you for all your well wishes about my infection. I'm doing so much better today. After thinking about why I got so upset yesterday about my husband being gone, I think it boils down to feeling abandoned. I can't realy fault him because I sent him away, but I was still angry with him until I had a chance to work things out in my head.

We all come from different perspectives - some of us became weekend wives AFTER we married, but others, like me, knew what we were signing up for. My husband was straight up with me when we were dating about his job. I had love goggles on and thought, hey, I'm up for it, this is the man of my dreams.

I have no regrets about marrying him, but I am only now realizing the commitment I have made.

Several of you opened up about similar experiences with health problems and home nightmares. I don't know about you guys, but I can deal (most of the time) with my husband's absense during these times. BUT what makes me upset is when it seems he doesn't realize how hard it can be. When he does recognize that his being gone puts added stress on me, I have an easier time. I guess it all comes down to acknowledgement and appreciation. We all love our men, but WE KNOW sometimes a "thank you" or "wow, you're really working hard" is few and far between.

Many of you have written in about other challenges and topics, such as children. I'm going to reorganize things on the site and create specific posts that address these topics that folks can respond to. I'll still generate daily posts (as long as I'm near a computer), but at least this will give you guys a place to gab about specific things. AND please let me know if there's something I'm not addressing.

**The cheesy picture in this post is my husband and I on a trip to Australia. That's where we got engaged a few years ago.

Rough Day

What a crazy 24 hours! Friday I went to the doctor and found out I had a staph infection on my leg because of my razor! (change your razors ladies!)
This morning I woke up and the infection was worse. My doctor told me to go to the hospital and that I may be admitted. In the middle of all of this, my husband was about to leave for a long business trip. Missing the trip would have many ramifications. He wanted to stay home, but I told him to go. I knew that most likely I would be sent home after they checked me out, and I didn't want to have him miss his trip just for that. He almost refused to leave, but I finally got him to go.
After he left for the airport, as I was sitting at the hospital - I had major second thoughts. Why was I facing this alone? Why did he listen to me? Why didn't he turn around and come back? It didn't help that this nosey lady asked why I was there alone!
I'm sure all of us have had an experience where we wish our husbands were there. We have to do things on our own sometimes, where other women might have their husbands there.
You know what was one of the things bothering me most? -- what others might say about my husband not staying. I understood why he got on the plane, but I wasn't sure my parents would, or some of my friends. It's hard for others not in our situation to understand what we have to do to keep going and make things work.
Anyway - I'm feeling better now and my husband has called to check on me several times today. It's all worked out, but today was a true test of my weekend wife strength! How have some of you been tested?

Bracing for Time Apart

A response from SMP made me think about how we all have to prepare for extended periods of time apart. Most of the time my husband is gone for 3-4 days at a time. But there have been times that he's been gone for a week, two, even three weeks.
I always initially dread it, but I've learned to look at it as a little vacation for myself. I make sure I have plans, especially with people I'm not able to see that often because of our hectic schedule. While he's gone for those long periods, we talk every day, unless he's out of the country, and we are always bouncing emails back and forth during the day.
I find that I do okay with about a week and a half apart, but after that I start to get emotional and I really miss him.
Of course, as we all know, sometimes the "reunions" can be kind of fun so I guess that's a positive.
My husband is about to leave for nine days tomorrow. At this point, I'm kind of looking forward to it. I'm planning on writing a proposal to submit The Weekend Wives Club to women's magazines. I'm hoping that if I can get an article published, that will force book publishers to take notice.
Have a great Saturday night ladies!

Let me hear from you!

Today I got my first comment on my blog. It was such a great feeling to receive feedback from another weekend wife. I suppose it all has to do with affirmation. We all have established a comfort level in our weekend wife arrangement, but to hear that this is "normal" for someone else helps so much.

I hope more of you will write in - and keep logging on to read the discussion. This is only the beginning of what I hope is a national (maybe international) awakening that people are living these marriages and they can work.

Sometimes, I feel lucky with such an arrangement. I talk to some of my married friends and associates and it doesn't seem like they're able to truly value their time together. Because my husband and I's time is so limited, we make sure it's quality time.

**This is a picture of us in Cape Town, South Africa in December of 2007.

We do a lot of traveling - thanks to his hotel and airline points (you know what I'm talking about ladies!) - so occassionally I'll post pictures of some of our adventures. When I get overwhelmed with the demands of being part of "the club" - I think of all the opportunities we've been granted by his job. Do you take the same approach?

A Night Out

I try to schedule MY time around my husband's schedule. Today when I left for work he reminded me he had plans with a friend. So I quickly set up a happy hour with a friend. Mid-afternoon his friend cancelled and my immediate inclination was to cancel plans to spend time with him. I forced myself not to. I went out with my friend while he waited on my at home. I am so glad I did. It's so important to make time for ourselves and it feels good once in a while to let our husband's day revolve around us for a change.

I need my time

Isn't it funny that when our husbands travel, we wish they were home? But then, when they're home for longer than a weekend, we realize there are some benefits to being a weekend wife.
I love my husband dearly, but when he's away, I have my routine. The messes I clean up are my own, I set the agenda for the television, I can monopolize the computer. I get everything done I need to for me, and when he's home on the weekend I'm ready to play. He's been working from home for a few months and it's becoming hard to get things done for myself. For instance, a trip to the mall today was abbreviated today because the Eagles were playing at 4:30. When I know I have the week to run the errands I missed out on, I don't care. But today I did because I haven't had a chance to do things I need to during the week. I know having him home is a gift and it's only a matter of time before he's back on the road. Because of that, during the week I try to enjoy every dinner together I can, every night in front of the TV watching our favorite shows.
Occasionally he'll have a night where he goes rockclimbing or out with a friend, and I look forward to these nights so much. The time to myself is back - except I am realizing I use those nights to go grocery shopping or do something for the household. I need to do a much better job of reserving those nights for myself, in the same way he's making time for himself.

About Me

I met my husband in 2001 while working in Tennessee as a TV reporter. I was at the beginning of a two-year job contract and he was just starting his career as a consultant in Philadelphia.

Our long distance relationship began and lasted for three years before I was

able to move up to Philadelphia. Although we solved our geography issue, we were still left with the reality of his job which requires him to travel. Typically, he leaves on Sunday night and returns Thursday night or Friday morning. It's a crazy arrangement, but we figured things out as we went along and have a pretty good system.

Early on in our relationship I went to the book store to find a self help book for women whose husbands travel. I could not believe that nothing exists. After we finally married in April 2006 and I became an offical Weekend Wife, I decided that it was time to do something. I've spent the last year trying to get The Weekend Wives Club published. So far, publishers love the idea, but don't think the market is big enough.

Together, we're going to prove them wrong. It's time Weekend Wives are recognized as key parts of many American marriages.

Just the beginning

After months of talking about it, it's time to get The Weekend Wives Club up and running. It's a place for weekend wives around the world to log on and find a community of women in the same situation. It's something I was looking for when I decided to pursue a commitment with my husband and it didn't exist. Now it does, and I invite you to share your thoughts and stories with this blog and the other 3.7 million women in the United States who are in the same boat.