My husband is back in town for this week after being gone all last week. It's always hard for us to balance the things I've been waiting on him to do, with what he needs to do to catch up from being gone. Sometimes it feels like a tug of war. I know he's got to get caught up, but I've been waiting to do things (like tonight it's sealing off some windows in our drafty old house (just bought an 1830's row house)). Right now, he's bogged down at work so I've been running around taking care of it which is what I said I wouldn't do. He'd promised to help, BUT, I can tell he's stressed and I just keep telling myself it's not as if he's going to see a movie. He said he'll help when he gets home, but I don't want to do it at 10 at night.
Aside from the "honey-do" list - I just want to spend time with him, catching up on our favorite shows, and relaxing. Thankfully, this weekend we have a long ski weekend planned in Colorado so we'll have some QT there.
How do you guys balance what your needs are when your husband gets home with what he needs to take care of?
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I hear you... John was running around getting ready to leave yesterday and I asked him to help figure out the 3M hook thingymajig that I had asked him to help me with before (so I could finally hang a calendar inside the kitchen cabinet) -- Well, as he was doing it (it was more complicated than either of us had anticipated!), he mumbled something about his already being late and how he didn't really have time to be messing with this... His point was well taken (and I probably should have just figured it out myself!), but I had asked him before and it was just a little thing that I wanted to check off my list... Of course I told him not to worry about it and of course he continued until it was finished, but you make a good point: It's not like he's going to a movie -- He had a 4 1/2 hour drive ahead of him to get to a Sunday business reception, so I really should have not bothered him with it... Oh well -- It is a balancing act... He is going to be away so much of the next month and I am already dreading it, but I hope that I can motivate to get some 'honey do' list things that he's asked me to do... Wish me luck!
smp
We're struggling to find that same balance. We were married the last week of December. We timed the honeymoon so we would have a couple days at home to "sort through things." Little did we know that time wouldn't even put a dent in things. Here we are more than half way through January and we still haven't opened and put away all the wedding gifts - and the Christmas tree is still up. I am incredibly stressed with work right now and while I would have loved to have spent the weekend putting things away, instead it was spent visiting my grandmother in the hospital and working. My husband feels so bad leaving me with all the work, so we are making a point to have one small project to accomplish each weekend. This weekend it was cleaning out the a couple drawers in the kitchen and cleaning the guest room. At this point and time we are adopting the mantra - one thing at a time. It will take us a while to get everything done, but I am glad that he is not expecting me to do it all on my own. We will really have to work on the balance of house work, couple time and individual interests though. My husband loves to volunteer - to a fault practically. When that starts up, I'll probably have different feeling on the whole honey-do list!
Hey are any of your husband's auditors? My fiance is, and it really sucks. I am to know that I am not the only one who gets annoyed with doing "his" stuff around the house. I felt a little bit silly b/c it is stuff I could do...I just would rather not deal with it. And we NEVER go out anymore!!! Yeah, we're saving for a wedding, but SERIOUSLY I feel like I have to actually ASK to go out and sometimes pout a little bit...I am not a child, why can't I go out if I really want to (which is really not that often since I am kind of a home-body). My fiance is, of course, the sweetest guy that ever lived, so I always feel bad about being irritated with him. I just wish he wasn't gone so much.
I feel the same way too...but it causes me to wonder "Does he feel the same way?" I mean, we have work, maybe kids, and other things in our lives, yet we are completely responsible for the house.
Do you think they ever wonder to themselve, "How does she feel about having to take care of all the house stuff?" I constantly make excuses for him be tired or grouchy from travel...but what about when I am grouchy or tired from everything around here?!
I think a lot of times our men are so crazy busy with work, they don't have time to wonder how things get done. I wish my husband would, but it seems like for him it's out of sight, out of mind. What I wish my husband would learn is when he says something like "wow, you took care of that?" or "hey, nice job!" - he takes away any potential grumblings I have about doing it.
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