What a crazy 24 hours! Friday I went to the doctor and found out I had a staph infection on my leg because of my razor! (change your razors ladies!)
This morning I woke up and the infection was worse. My doctor told me to go to the hospital and that I may be admitted. In the middle of all of this, my husband was about to leave for a long business trip. Missing the trip would have many ramifications. He wanted to stay home, but I told him to go. I knew that most likely I would be sent home after they checked me out, and I didn't want to have him miss his trip just for that. He almost refused to leave, but I finally got him to go.
After he left for the airport, as I was sitting at the hospital - I had major second thoughts. Why was I facing this alone? Why did he listen to me? Why didn't he turn around and come back? It didn't help that this nosey lady asked why I was there alone!
I'm sure all of us have had an experience where we wish our husbands were there. We have to do things on our own sometimes, where other women might have their husbands there.
You know what was one of the things bothering me most? -- what others might say about my husband not staying. I understood why he got on the plane, but I wasn't sure my parents would, or some of my friends. It's hard for others not in our situation to understand what we have to do to keep going and make things work.
Anyway - I'm feeling better now and my husband has called to check on me several times today. It's all worked out, but today was a true test of my weekend wife strength! How have some of you been tested?
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What is a Weekend Wife? Well if your husband spends more nights at the Hilton than home with you ... welcome to The Club! There are an estimated 3.7 million weekend wives in the United States. In spite of our number, I don't believe we talk to eachother enough. Marriages like ours break the rules, and don't fit into the expectations of our little girl dreams. Yet, we've found out own ways to make it work and it's time we start talking about it.
My Day Job
About Me
- Weekend Wife
- I am a woman whose husband travels. I'm trying to build a community for other Weekend Wives.
Weekend Wives - Spread the Word!
Please send this site to your friends! Let's grow this blog into a large community! I can't do it without you!
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15 comments:
Wow sounds like you had a rough day! I am glad it wasn't anything too serious! Anyway, I saw your post on the knot about your blog so I thought I would come check it out!
My fiance is currently working in Wyoming (we live just outside of Denver) and has been there for almost two weeks. He usually only has to go up there in the Summer, but the company is at a turning point and it is a very exciting time for his company. He will be home on Wednesday, and never goes for more than two weeks (not yet anyway).
I agree with what you were saying in your previous post, things are usually okay for a week and a half, after that I kind of lose it. I am at that point right now :) It doesn't help that this time he has been gone for two full weekends....
The trying time I am having with this is that I am trying to plan our wedding and he just isn't here to help or give opinions on anything. Granted, he really isn't into the whole wedding planning thing but it would still be nice to share my ideas and show him pictures I like. 'Til Wednesday I guess...
I was planning our wedding while my husband traveled too. It was so hard because he wanted to be involved 100%, but we had to schedule time to meet about wedding items. It was insane. We did a lot of communicating via email and phone calls. When he came home on the weekend the last thing he wanted to do is wedding work! We made it and our wedding was awesome, but to tell you the truth, I'm glad it's over!
If it makes you feel any better, I got my lasik eye procedure done sans husband. Love the idea of the blog and count me in...I've joked for a while now that I have married life and a single life but weekend wife sounds a little better. I hope your Staff infection is healing.
Off to the airport to pick up my hubby (which I don't do often:)
OMG...it never ever fails...Mark goes out of town for a few weeks and some catastrophe is bound to happen! Whether it be sitting home with a mouth full of blood cause I just got my wisdom teeth pulled, or I saw a bug in the guestroom, or my car died...it just never fails! To make matter worse, when he is out of town I typically cannot get a hold of him on the phone either because they are alwyas in some marathon meeting where cell phones are forbidden. I get so angry! I feel like I deserve to have him home at night. The biggest problem with the travelling is we live in Las Vegas, but my entire family is back in Boston...so I really don't have ANYONE else here, but him. I know that puts extra pressure or guilt onto him, but sometimes I can't help it.
Wow, this is a great idea! My Fiance is a professional golfer, and travels a lot, especially March-October. Usually the minimum trip is 5-7 days, but there are times he's gone two weeks or a little longer. The month of October I saw him for a total of probably 5 or 6 days. It gets really hard sometimes, and I don't feel like my friends really understand, even if they try to be supportive. It's not like he's gone for a few days for a vacation or an occasional business trip (which is the case with most of their boyfriends or husbands)---he's gone for a week at a time, and sometimes only home two or three days between trips.
What's even harder for me is that I can't be there to comfort him when he has a bad round, or celebrate with him when he does well. He goes to some amazing places, but I'm usually at home. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I knew what I was getting into when I met him, so I'm not mad that he's gone so often.
In college, I was a live-in nanny for a weekend wife with three little boys. She used to joke that I was like her roommate and her husband was the boyfriend that comes to visit for the weekend. He was usually gone Sunday night through Thursday night or Friday. I'm so glad now that I had that experience---she was a really strong person, and I'm glad I had that "model."
I'm so glad you've started this, it'll be nice to have the support and be able to talk to someone who understands!
This is a great site!! No one in my life really understands what our hectic lives are like, so it's nice to know that other women can relate. It certainly is completely different to be with a man that travels for a living.
My fiancé is a pilot. He flies corporate business jets, so as far as traveling goes, he is at the mercy of his very wealthy clients. Which means no set schedule and they fly for both business and pleasure. Sometimes he's gone for a night or two, but there have been times where he's been gone for almost 2 weeks.
The worst part for us is that we never know when he's going to be gone; his company has until 6pm the night before a trip to brief him for it, so making plans is virtually pointless.
But don't get me wrong, it's not all bad for us. I love my "me" time, I really think that it makes our relationship work. We appreciate each other so much more when we have our quality time together. And I LOVE being able to come home to our house exactly how it was left, that doesn't happen too often when he's home!!
It was funny, his company was really slow the whole month of December, he had a few day trips here and there, but no overnights. I don't think that we have had a whole month in a row of nights together in our 3 year relationship. It was really strange, and I think we were both ready for him to have another trip. Luckily January is proving to be a little busier and we're back to our 2-4 nights apart a week.
Although, I will agree with slc, wedding planning is very difficult with his travel schedule. I've been to quite a few appointments either by myself or with my mom. I feel bad booking everything without him seeing things or meeting these people, but there's not a lot I can do about it. And then I feel bad because he feels guilty that I'm doing everything. That may sound strange. I guess I mean that I know how much he wants to be a part of all of the planning, so it makes me sad to see him upset about not being a part of it. But we wouldn't get anything done if we worked around his schedule. Plus, making and then breaking appointments is not my favorite thing to do.
Now that I have probably either bored you or lost you, I definitely appreciate having a place to go to talk to people that understand. I really hope this takes off, I will definitely tell anyone I can about it.
My Husband travels weekly for work. We bought a house last year and if I try really hard I bet I could add all the time he's been home. I really feel like I live here alone. I"m so glad to know there are other ladies who understand what I go though.
I am not in the exact same position as everyone. My FI is an accountant and only travels during "busy season". It seems that busy season is getting longer and longer. He went from being gone Jan-Apr to now he is also gone Aug-Oct. He is only gone M-F usually. It is hard to plan the wedding while he is gone and the last thing he wants to do when he gets home is talk wedding. I've gotten good at sending pictures and ideas. He just says he likes them or not so he can still be involved.
I told him that I feel like I have a new found single life when he is gone! : ) I have had catastrophes while he is gone, but I managed to get through them. I think this experience has made us both stronger and me definately a lot more independent!
I hope your leg gets better!
I just wanted to get on and say hi to everyone. I am married to a military man, so he is not gone every week, but when he leaves, he is gone for at least 6 months. do I count as a weekend wife? haha it's alittle different situation, but I feel the same pain, just for a little longer time periods
Hi. A friend who spends time on the knot told me about your blog. My husband is only gone about 2 nights a week, but that could increase in the future. I think this is VERY common today. It's like you said: we plan our lives around our husbands schedules, and therefore we don't always have the time to seek out others in our situation. Do any of your readers have kids? We don't yet, but are thinking about it soon.
http://www.yelnad.com/blog
ww, I am so sorry to hear about your staph infection - scary! (But I am thrilled to see how many comments you received - sounds like 'the knot' was a great place to let others know about your site!)
To stay or go when we are sick must be a tricky situation for our guys -- I remember about a year ago I was having terrible cramps and was frightened about it but my husband had a BIG sales meeting in Chicago and had to go... As it turned out, it was one really bad day but thankfully it passed -- and I always do try to have a support system in place wherever we live so that if I need someone, there is someone to call (that day I called our neighbor who happened to be a nurse)... But no one can take the place of our husbands -- and I imagine it is really hard for them to leave us when they know we want them to stay even when we are stoic (like you were) and tell them to go...
I hope that your infection clears up completely and quickly (and that you have some family or friends nearby need be)... God bless you, weekend wife --- You are doing a great job! Feel better...
smp
ww, I am so sorry to hear about your staph infection - scary! (But I am thrilled to see how many comments you received - sounds like 'the knot' was a great place to let others know about your site!)
To stay or go when we are sick must be a tricky situation for our guys -- I remember about a year ago I was having terrible cramps and was frightened about it but my husband had a BIG sales meeting in Chicago and had to go... As it turned out, it was one really bad day but thankfully it passed -- and I always do try to have a support system in place wherever we live so that if I need someone, there is someone to call (that day I called our neighbor who happened to be a nurse)... But no one can take the place of our husbands -- and I imagine it is really hard for them to leave us when they know we want them to stay even when we are stoic (like you were) and tell them to go...
I hope that your infection clears up completely and quickly (and that you have some family or friends nearby need be)... God bless you, weekend wife --- You are doing a great job! Feel better...
smp
So sorry about your illness!
I can completely relate. I had to have my wisdom teeth out a year ago and my FI was on a project in Philly (we're in Chicago). Since I was going under for the surgery, I had to have someone to pick me up afterwards, but no one was available! Luckily, at the last minute FI's schedule got switched and he flew back Thursday instead of Friday. I was incredibily loopy after surgery and was glad he was there to pick me up!
We talk all the time about whether he should switch careers or not (currently he's a consultant). I love my alone time, but worry that we don't have to deal with day-to-day issues enough. I will definitely be checking this blog!
This blog is a great idea. My fiance and I have been together since 2003 and we are getting married in May. He works for a consulting company and he's gone every week Mon-Thurs. I knew what I was getting into when we started dating because he's been with this company for almost 10 years, but it's tough sometimes. For example, I know that he'll never be the person that I put as my 'emergency contact' because he's never in town and would likely be the last person who could really respond if I were to have an emergency.
It's nice to know that there are other women out there with relationships like this. My friends (whose husbands/fiances work in town) don't understand what it's like to be a weekend wife.
For those of you wondering about the baby thing.... I went through the pregnancy with hubby being gone for 10 out of 12 weeks while I was at the end of the pregnancy. Now try telling a very pregnant woman that she's going to be alone, let's just say I was a bit emotional. As long as there is someone there to help out (mow the lawn, shovel the snow, etc.) it's possible. We now have a seven month old little girl and he has an even harder time leaving, but the job is the job. The best part about the travel is that I get time with my baby, just she and I! I guess that's the only way I can look at it. Trust me though it's still really hard to know he'll be gone.
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